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Dick of the Week


I fell in love...
with Steve's dick when I saw it bouncing back and forth while he was dancing onstage at a gay strip-show bar in Washington D.C. It turns out that this was the second time I had done so!

The first time was a couple of years before, when I saw Steve's dick bouncing back and forth while he was dancing on a bar -- also in Washington D.C. It took me quite a while to recognize that it was the same dick on the same guy. But once I did... Bingo! Boy, was it ever fun catching up with what he had been up to in the meantime.

I had interviewed Steve back then, too -- but it wasn't as a Dick of the Week. Instead, it was for my Men Dancing Naked page. The interview will be available again soon. In between our two meetings, Steve said, about 8 or 10 of his acquaintances have mentioned that they saw him on my site! Cool, huh?

In that first interview, Steve had described how perfect his job was for him. He still felt the same way now. He had, obviously, been doing that job very well in the intervening two years -- and there aren't many nude dancers who last that long without moving from town to town. He sees himself, with typical insight and intelligence, as being employed by the entertainment industry -- and he does what he has to do to keep himself fresh. He also talks without bitterness about how he believes that he will have to retire from that industry in the next couple of years.

It's very difficult to communicate, in the transcript below, how Steve has an incredible, deadpan sense of humor. His jokes are delivered utterly seriously, perfectly in context, and each one is a little gem of a time bomb with a three-second fuse. You swallow it whole, and then a second or two later... Urp! ... it goes off inside you with a disorienting little pop. It's wonderful! I have no idea what Steve will do once he does retire from the entertainment industry, but for his sake I sure hope it's one in which he can use that humor and intelligence.

So... let me begin with the standard Dick of the Week question: just how big IS your dick, anyway?

Not sure. I guess it's somewhere between 5 and a half, 6.

How big around?

I don't know.

So when you jerk off, can you get your hand around it?

Oh yeah.

When you're holding it with one hand, does your thumb touch your index finger?

I'm not sure if it overlaps... I guess touch, I suppose.

So do you lose partners who think that you're too big for them?

[He chuckles.] No.

Which do you prefer in a partner: a big dick or a small dick?

Don't really care.


Depends on the man. It's the schlinger not the schlong. [He says this so deadpan that it takes me a moment to realize that this silly little saying is also a joke, and another moment to see that the joke has two levels.]

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

10 and a half.

The smallest?

Hmmm... I guess about 3.

Tell me more about each of those two guys.

The big guy: I was 14, I met him at a supermarket, and he was 20. He was a German-Italian; he asked me out to Punk Rock Disco, he got me in. He kept giving me sips of his drink, bourbon and Coca-Cola -- doubles! -- and that'll put a hair on your ass, and he took me home. I was waaaay too drunk to do anything with him. By morning time I put my arm around him, we were both naked, I ran my hand along his arm, when I got the wrist, he didn't have a hand there, and he asked me, if you didn't want to have sex, why do you have your hand on my dick?

He was from Houston Texas, he'd be 36 by now. Ugly as all get out, but with a huge dick.

The small guy was just a guy who asks me to come by. Not all that interesting.

Which is easier to keep hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

I wouldn't know. If you're with me and you're not hard, forget about it!

What's your dick's favorite place to go?

I have a lot of shame about it, so I like to hide it someplace dark. [A pause, during which I realize he's probably not serious. I suppose it's possible for anyone to have shame about his dick, but.... a stripper? Steve??] Oh, anyplace, I don't really care.

What's your dick's favorite place to go that YOU would rather it DIDN'T go?

Hmmm. I couldn't say anything about that one.

What was the most surprising thing you discovered where you didn't think you liked something but your dick said it did?

Hmmm. I don't think I've ever had that. I've never been close-minded about anything.

What's your favorite way of USING your dick?

I would say intercourse.

With a man or a woman?

A woman.

Do you consider yourself bi or straight?

I definitely go both ways. A lot of guys lie about that in my business. A lot of straight guys lie and say they're gay, but that's not true.

How often do guys tell you that you have a big dick?

Nobody. I get "nice dick"; I don't get "big dick", though.

What's the most annoying way someone comes on to you -- like in a bar or at a party?

I would definitely say flashing money. Trying to tempt with drugs and figure out whether I'm into drugs -- that's really old. Trying to manipulate me rather than give me what I want.

What DO you want?

I just want to shoot the load and hit the road. I don't want to push a shopping cart with a guy...!

If someone saw you in a bar, and and decided he liked you, what would be the best line for him to use to get you interested in him?

I don't know; I don't think I go for lines. Pretty much a regular guy; tell a couple of jokes, have a couple of drinks, that's pretty much it.

What would be the worst line?

[He chuckles.] How about "Your parents must both be retarded cause you're so special!"

Are you cut or uncut?


Which do you prefer in other men?

I've never tried an uncut, so I don't know.

What makes a dick pretty, or good-looking?

Symmetry. Clear skin is nice, too.

Do you think you have a pretty dick?


Why not?

I don't know. I guess I don't like it. I like to change myself -- the way I look, my outward appearance -- all the time. The dick you can't change. Who said I was natural [referring to his hair, which used to be blond, but is now chestnut brown]? Can't I have a little mystique?

Is your father cut or uncut?


Does your father have a big dick?


How big?

Don't know. I'd say probably like 7.

Does your dick have a name?


Has it EVER had a name, like when you were younger?

I guess "Spunky" is the closest!

Have you ever had the feeling that there is something wrong with your dick?

No. I don't like it; I don't get the hang I'd like to have.

When you're wearing clothes, do you keep your dick inside underpants?


Boxers or briefs?

Fruit of the Looms.

Does it hang to the left or to the right?

Hmmm. I guess right.

How do you arrange it inside briefs as you're putting them on?

Actually I don't think about it.

Has there ever been a period in your life of one year or more during which NO ONE other than you saw your dick?

No, I'm in show business. Everybody sees it all the time.

When is the last time someone saw your dick?

Yesterday. Show business. [I'm interviewing him by phone, and he's visiting a friend.]

When will be the next time?

Probably in about half an hour.

In high school, how often did other boys see your dick?

I guess every gym class.


Didn't have much girlfriends back then.

And in college?

I've been doing the show for a long time [implying that this has been since he was college age].

Nowadays, during an average week, how many people see your dick?

I would say about 300.

Of course, everybody knows that a lot of teenaged boys get hard at inappropriate times -- and in a way so that other people can see that they're hard. Did this ever happen to you?

Yeah, but nobody noticed.

Did anyone ever tease you or punish you when they noticed that your dick was hard?


When you jerk off, how do you hold your dick in your hand?

I'm a standard right-hander. Thumb's on the top.

What motion do you use?

Up and down would be the way to go! [He laughs, apparently because the answer seems obvious.]

Tell me about the first time your dick ejaculated. What happened?

I guess I was 13. My oldest brother told me about it. I started jerking, yanking, went down to the basement and gave it a go. It shot -- I was surprised.

Guys I interview for Dick of the Week usually are exhibitionistic -- at least a little. Think back in your life to any times when you may have fantasized or thought about showing off your dick to someone else, on purpose. How old were you the FIRST time you had a thought or a fantasy like that?

I was always around naked people, so I didn't [need to have a fantasy like that]. My brothers, pretty much, it was a nudist family except for my mom. I would say the boys [I saw naked a lot], and only one of my sisters. [Continuing to think back.] Mainly the boys, but we didn't think a lot about it. We had a big house, and the two top bedrooms were where the boys were all the time, so it really didn't matter. It was hot as all get-out in the summertime. No air conditioning. When my oldest brother moved out, my sister moved up. We used to get dressed and undressed in front of each other; we shared the same room.

I was about 16 when my older brother moved out. I ended up in [Washington] D.C. about 5 years ago.

What does your dick do when you dance naked?

I keep it up. After awhile it becomes automatic; it just stays up. [As you might imagine, dancing hard helps increase the tips he gets.]

When you're dancing naked, do you think about how moving your body will move your dick? Do you do anything on purpose because of the way it's going to cause your dick to swing?


What do you like the most about your dick?

That it stays up.

What do you like the most about having a dick?

[He chuckles.] That's a rough one there! I guess pissing standing up is really great.

What do you like the least about your dick?

Hmmm. Well I've grown out of the bigger thing. California values big dicks; I'm near the end of my career now so I'll spend the money on liposuction.

How many more years [in your career]?

I don't know; five, six, ten. [He laughs.]

What would cause you to get out of show business?

Just getting tired of it, but I don't see that happening. Dancing will have to quit me; I won't quit it.

Has your dick ever gotten you in trouble?

[A pause; he chuckles.] If you're a man, you're in trouble all the time! Putting it somewhere you shouldn't, all sorts of things like that.

[He thinks about the question a bit more.] Well, my dad was worried I would lose my virginity [with the wrong girl]. Little did I know there was this girl..., my dad paid this girl 20 and a six-pack to do me, even though she would have done me anyway for free. Me and her brother used to go to the pool all the time -- we were friends. I think she just wanted to get fucked by all the guys; I didn't know what her deal was.


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She was married and she told her husband all about [having sex with me]. He came over to kick my ass. Then my brother kicked his ass (cause I wasn't home) and told him to leave town. The husband was a painter at the apartment complex and he told him to leave and apparently he did, so my brother got the painter job at our apartment complex. But three months later he went to jail, so I applied for the job as a painter. So they hired me. So [using a clearly ironic tone of voice] it was a happy ending!

What caused you to go to D.C.?

I could go to college for free in western Maryland -- but I've lived everywhere. I was doing a show in Baltimore, then back in Texas. In Texas all the dancers are like 6 foot 3, big blond guys, lots of muscles, and all straight -- you ain't never gonna get any. Then in D.C. everybody's white as snow with black hair and a huge cock, so they'd have them all in a row with the spotlight on their dicks so you can't see how old they are with the spotlight. So what I looked like would never have sold.

In Baltimore it's boy toys; you have to be under 21 or look it all the time. I went to D.C. when the laws changed [in the strip-show bars] and you weren't allowed to stroke it any more, so it turned out to be more of a beauty contest again. The muscled straight boys aren't interested in doing a totally nude show.

Anything else you'd like to say about dicks in general or your dick in particular?

I don't think so.

Thank you very much!

You're welcome!

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